My dog is the most brilliant creature imagined. Last week, she managed to eat a rat and then poo it out, mostly whole. I have no idea how that happened, but I'm scared to think that it might have been how Sandy understands the world - through taste. Something like this:
Rat: OMGWTF IT'S A DOG.
Sandy: HOLY CRAP IT'S TALKING TO ME. MUST EMIT ECHOLOCATION TO MOTHERSHIP TO DETERMINE COGNITIVE FUNCTIONS. TONGUE-PROBE IS ANALYZING SUBJECT.
Rat: OMG I'M GONNA DIE :(
This new calamity, however, was a somewhat stupid attempt on my dog's part to try to dig a tunnel all the way to Russia. But she missed. And she missed so badly that part of the pretty black skin-stuff on her nose peeled off. So I brought her in this afternoon and gawked. There she was, my obese and probably ADD dog with a half black/half pink nose. At first, I thought it was dirt because my dog is pretty much a prairie dog with a little more poundage. We ended up taking her to the vet because not only did she lick all the Neosporin off her nose but since her nose is pretty much wet 24/7, as with most dogs, no gauze, bandage, or cotton balls would stick to it. It wasn't bleeding, per se. But it looked like it hurt.
And then came the second most idiotic thing of my life. The receptionist at the vet's clinic wasn't allowed to do anything because there was no vet present. Not even bandage my dog, not even look at it. I almost thought he was made of cardboard. "Hello, I'm a receptionist! I'm trained to write and talk, even smile if it's a good day. I live in a closet about ten feet from here, and my favorite color is bread."
So we brought Sandy home, and now she's vehemently cursing me in her native tongue that so help her, she will mutilate the nearest shoe into a pulp if I will not comply with her request to be let outside. And she forgets, or maybe she doesn't quite realize, that she doesn't have hands and all my shoes are out of her reach. As long as it isn't leprosy, I guess it's fine.
Read 4 comments (Leave a comment?)
Jennifer said:
As much as I should be sympathising you right now, I nearly snorted my boogers and probably broke my ribs laughing.
Posted on October 12, 2006 8:34 PM; Permalink
Jenny said:
That. made. my. day.
But um, not at your expense! :P
Posted on October 13, 2006 9:01 AM; Permalink
Ranjani said:
Haha, thank you guys! Her nose is getting better already, so I don’t have to worry about my dog calling a hit on me for making her stay in the house. Although, that takes a special amount of coordination that Sandy doesn’t quite have.
Posted on October 15, 2006 4:14 PM; Permalink
Lindsay said:
Silly Sandy, always off getting into trouble through her awesome powers of digestion. Very amusing, but I question your use of ‘per se’ I don’t think it fits.
Who ARE all these people and where did they come from???
Posted on October 18, 2006 10:16 PM; Permalink