A few days ago, I hit 200 pages on my novel, and I sat there for a few minutes looking at the number wondering exactly how I’d made it that far. I’d come close several years ago, with a much older draft. I probably skimmed 180 and thought, Well, this is it. I don’t know how much more I can write. I’m not over that fear even now. If it weren’t for the fact that I keep adding chapters to deal with the gaps in narrative, I would be halfway done with the book by now. I’m not.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but I have so much more story in me. I’ve spent six years so far trying to get just the first section — all the exposition I could ever write — done so that I can proceed to the sections that actually begin to utilize the maelstrom of conflict that I’ve brewed so far. And while those parts of the story are not yet clarified in my mind, I know, very roughly, what I want. The story can only get longer from here, which makes my June 30th deadline a little scarier. But considering that I didn’t start writing this section until, perhaps, halfway into March — rather than February, which would have been ideal — and I didn’t average more than perhaps 1,000 words a day, if that, there’s still a chance that I’ll make it if I keep up to my original schedule. But I almost think I’ve lost the discipline to force myself to churn out 2,000 words a day. Sometimes, I’ll come to a sentence that I absolutely cannot phrase in any pleasant way, and I sit there staring at it for minutes upon minutes, and all I can think about is, “Why isn’t this working?”

Then, there’s the matter of plot. Since NaNoWriMo, I’ve added five chapters to the first third of my book, making it nearly as big as my intended second and third sections together. That doesn’t sit well with me for obvious reasons, and it means that either I’ll have to whittle down the first third to its bare bones, or beef up the second and third which, as of yet, are still hanging around in my head waiting for me to write them down. At this point, anything is possible, and I’m grateful for that. My brand new netbook (an Acer Aspire One) is really helping me out as well. Plus it…matches my stapler.

I apologize, like always, for the huge hiatus in posts. We had nearly fifteen people at our house (including us) over Spring Break, which was hectic and busy and incredibly fun, and for the first time this semester, I actually feel like the end is in sight. And I know it’s silly to go through my education just waiting to be done with everything, but I have some exciting summer plans to look forward to. If everything works out, I’ll post all of the fancy details here.

Right. So last night, we drove out to San Antonio at 11 PM (for hassling purposes) and got back around 5:30 AM. I stayed up for another hour churning Greek into my brain (τιθημι, τιθης, τιθησιν) before going to sleep, getting up at 8:30, and owning things until I finally crashed at 4 PM. I probably shouldn’t do this as often as I’ve been doing this this semester, but as long as I can get things done — and done well — I don’t see why I shouldn’t enjoy a late-night-harassment-run or two.